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Thursday, October 18th, 2012 at 6:56 AM by CALF (Sharon)
Nothing but the truth. Some people may be offended, but why, do you feel your better than an animal, when you are only an animal yourself. Billions upon billions of animals are murdered for personal taste today in horrific conditions. The HOLOCAUST continues in YOUR name if you do nothing to make it stop
Monday, September 19th, 2011 at 5:26 PM by CALF ( Kat )
Rules cats live by….
BATHROOMS: Always accompany humans to the bathroom. It is not necessary to
do anything. Just sit and stare.
DOORS: Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on
hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary
to use it.
After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out
and think about several things. This is particularly important during very
cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you
cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug,
shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is
as long as a humans bare foot.
HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other
is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known
Following are the rules for "hampering":
1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You
cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and
then picked up and comforted.
2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and
book,unless you can lie across the book itself.
3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to
obscure as much of the work as possible or at least. Pretend to doze, but
every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.
4) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to
jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.
5) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard,
bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lap across arms,
hampering typing in progress.
WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in
front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their
arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help
their coordination skills.
BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
LITTER BOX: When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of
the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their
HIDING: Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find
Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will
cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away
or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and
kisses and you will probably get a treat.
ONE LAST THOUGHT: Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their
face, turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it
often. And don't forget guests!
Monday, September 19th, 2011 at 5:24 PM by CALF ( Kat )
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY :
* 8 AM–Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
* 9:30 AM–Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
* 9:40 AM–Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
* 10:30 AM–Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
* 11:30 AM–Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
* 12 Noon–Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
* 1 PM–Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
* 4 PM–Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
* 5:30 PM–Oh, boy! Pretty mums! My favorite!
* 6 PM–Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
* 6:30 PM–Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
* 8:30 PM–Oh, boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My favorite!